Autism (Pervasive Developmental Disorder to be more specific) a word that I dreaded, a diagnosis I feared, realized just a few weeks ago. Andrew was my easy child. There were signs though. I didn't want to see them. I wanted to believe his prematurity was behind his immature behavior. None the less, it became strikingly obvious, that there was something wrong.
In response to excitement, usually over a rotating or suspended object, Andrew would bang his feet on the floor, clench his fists. He had an open mouth posturing that looked like it was painful. He babbled but never spoke with intention. Words like Momma, Dadda, Nanna, would slip from his lips, but never made the connection to an intended person.
Prior to this diagnosis, he was receiving Early Intervention due to global delays. He had feeding therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy and physical therapy. Andrew was over-toned, tactile defensive, needing sensory input and at the same time, desensitization. At 18 months he took his first steps, and now at 2 we venture into the spectrum.
Spectrum, what a fitting word for this disability. Not only does it describe the disability, but it also describes the emotions I, as a parent am going through. Prior to the diagnosis, I was defensive at the mere mention of a possible diagnosis of Autism. Upon getting the diagnosis, I was heartbroken, and depressed. Currently, I am somewhere between denial and acceptance.
How can this loving little boy be autistic? He smiles and claps his hands when he is happy to see someone walk into the room. He runs to me and gives me big hugs. Andrew pursues attention and company. He will bring toys to you in hopes that you will play. He used to cry because Elmo sang what sounded like a sad song. He interacts with other children. This is not what I think of when contemplating Autism.
Then there are the times when we have difficulty getting his attention. He never really consistently responded to his name (another sign). If he is watching t.v., or involved in something, he does tune the rest of the world out. Then of course, there is the "stimming" behavior. His stimming, seems to be a response to excitement, and not a need for stimulation. I guess I really don't understand this fully, but yes, its an autistic trait.
Prior to this diagnosis, he was receiving Early Intervention due to global delays. He had feeding therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy and physical therapy. Andrew was over-toned, tactile defensive, needing sensory input and at the same time, desensitization. At 18 months he took his first steps, and now at 2 we venture into the spectrum.
Spectrum, what a fitting word for this disability. Not only does it describe the disability, but it also describes the emotions I, as a parent am going through. Prior to the diagnosis, I was defensive at the mere mention of a possible diagnosis of Autism. Upon getting the diagnosis, I was heartbroken, and depressed. Currently, I am somewhere between denial and acceptance.
How can this loving little boy be autistic? He smiles and claps his hands when he is happy to see someone walk into the room. He runs to me and gives me big hugs. Andrew pursues attention and company. He will bring toys to you in hopes that you will play. He used to cry because Elmo sang what sounded like a sad song. He interacts with other children. This is not what I think of when contemplating Autism.
Then there are the times when we have difficulty getting his attention. He never really consistently responded to his name (another sign). If he is watching t.v., or involved in something, he does tune the rest of the world out. Then of course, there is the "stimming" behavior. His stimming, seems to be a response to excitement, and not a need for stimulation. I guess I really don't understand this fully, but yes, its an autistic trait.
I need to understand. My mind needs to grasp this but its such a vague, and yet encompassing disorder. This is going to be one hell of a Journey!
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